I never thought I would say that I'm sad about leaving the NICU, but I am. Actually, I'm really sad. I have gotten so used to that place during these 9 weeks and in some strange way it was comforting. Comforting to know all the nurses (I'm really missing them), comforting to see how well the girls were taken care of, comforting to know all the routines. It's hard to start over again. The new hospital the girls are in is ok, but it's not 'intensive' care anymore. It feels a bit scary that they are in a room alone, without a nurse constantly watching over them. Of course the girls are still hooked up to monitors that will alert the staff if something is wrong, but...well, it's just not the same. Tero and I are both feeling a bit unsure of this new situation.
I also saw something yesterday that made me realize some other challenges this new phase might bring. As I was leaving, I saw a nurse sitting in a rocking chair, bottle-feeding one of the babies. And of course I started crying. I know it's great (and important) that the nurses will help teach them how to drink from a bottle, etc., but I want to be the one feeding my babies. It's different when the milk came from a tube and there was nothing I could really do, but when someone gets to cuddle with my babies and give them their bottles....I feel jealous and very very sad. I want to be there 24 hours a day, but I know that I can't and someone else will get to feed them and rock them to sleep. I should be happy...the girls are still getting very good care and every day they are closer and closer to coming home. I guess this will just take some getting used to.
On a more positive note, the girls ARE in the same hospital now and in the same bed. They both managed the move to the new place, but it will take them a few days to recover from such a big trip. Once they do recover, the growth should really start speeding up. I know I always get my hopes up quite easily, but the nurse today did say that the girls could possibly be ready a week or two before their due date. So that means once July hits, it could be any day. And July is only a few weeks away. Ok, we can do this. :)
The girls' new bed (and yes, they are there under the covers :))
Olivia, sleeping as usual :)
Everything is almost ready for the girls at home too. Last weekend we bought a twin stroller and on Friday we bought a 'family car' that will fit all 3 car seats as well as the strollers in the back. And most importantly, the closets and drawers are full of girly girly clothes. Sometimes I just open the drawers and breathe in all the pink to give me energy to get through the day. :))
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