Ok, it seems that my sweet little boy has disappeared and been replaced with a cranky, whiny, indecisive boy who likes to throw tantrums. This week has been AWFUL! Today, thank goodness, I got a tiny glimpse of Matias's former angelic, happy self and it was so nice. So there is hope that he will come back and this boy who spends most of his time in 'time out' will disappear. Man, I hope so.
So, here are a few conversations we've had this week:
Matias: Shirt off!
Me: Matias, you really don't need to take your shirt off right now.
Matias: SHIRT OFF!
Me: Matias, why do you want to take your shirt off?
Matias: Shirt off!
Me: Ok, we can take your shirt off but if you get cold we need to put it back on. (take his shirt off)
Matias: Nooooooo!!! Shirt ON!!!! Waaaaahhhhhhh!!!! Shirt on!!!!!
And another one:
Matias: Mommy, istuu (sit) chair.
Me: Matias, it's not time to eat now...why do you want to sit in your chair?
Matias: Sit!!
Me: Matias, I'm not going to give you any food but if you really want to sit in your chair then you can sit there. (put him in his high chair)
Matias: Down!!! Down!!! Waaaahhhhhh!!!!! Down!!!!
I think you see where this is going. This happens 50 times a day. And EVERYTHING has to be a fight. Putting clothes on: he sits when you want him to stand and stands when you want him to sit. Putting outdoor clothes on: he lays on the floor like a wet noodle. Walking outside: he lays down on the sidewalk and refuses to move. Dinnertime: he says he's done and then cries when you take away the food.
He has been in time out a lot this week, and although he sits there like an angel and says sorry afterwards, the behavior doesn't always stop. He has been hitting the girls on the head, hitting my back when I'm feeding the girls, hitting the tv, throwing his food on the floor, and basically doing the opposite of everything we ask him to do. And sometimes he's so MAD! I saw him pooping the other day and asked him if he had kakka in his diaper and he shouted angrily back at me, 'EI OO!!' (there's not).
It has been tiring to say the least (especially since he's been waking up before 6 every day again)and I think we're going to need some new strategies soon to deal with this behavior if it continues. Of course as a teacher I have dealt with behavioral issues, but a) it's different when it's your own kids, b) it's different when they're this young, and c) it's difficult when there are 3 babies crying at the same time (and all almost totally dependent on you for their every need) to immediately provide the consequence for the misbehavior.
One problem is that Matias is smart. Maybe too smart. He totally knows what he's doing and has that mischievous twinkle in his eye when he's going to do something that's not allowed. And of course most of this misbehavior occurs when I'm alone with all 3 kids and am not giving him all the attention he might want. He knows. The funny thing is that he also 'punishes' me when he's mad. If he's trying to climb in my lap when I'm feeding the girls, I give him a quick hug and tell him that he can sit in my lap when I'm done feeding the babies. Then when the girls are sleeping and I do have time to play with him, he totally ignores me and wants to play by himself. Aaahhhh.....sometimes it feels like I can't win. I told my friend the other day that it feels horrible when Matias goes to bed and the only thing I feel like I said to him the whole evening was:
Don't do that, Matias!
Ack! What are you doing, Matias?
No, Matias!
Be nice, Matias!
Matias, we don't hit.
Matias, put it back!
I'm going to count to 3, then you'll go to time out if you don't stop.
Time out, Matias!
Matias Miikki, stop that right now!
Say sorry, Matias.
I'm sure if I was totally well-rested and didn't have any other babies demanding my attention, I might have a tiny bit more patience and energy to deal with this. In any case though, I have to say that I do love him to pieces....and sometimes I do even laugh when he's in time out (not where he can see me of course) because he looks so freaking cute just sitting there, twiddling his thumbs and looking really sorry. How is it that you can be so annoyed with your own kids and so in love with them at the same time? One minute I feel like selling him to the highest bidder and the next minute I'm squeezing him so hard because he's done something adorable.....oh, like when he kissed me on the lips the other day, walked away for a few steps, then ran back to me and said 'more, more' and gave me a huge hug and kiss. Aaahhhh, parenthood....and this is just the beginning. :)))
Friday, November 26, 2010
Thursday, November 18, 2010
new toys
The girls got some new dolls last week (they were supposed to be for Christmas, but I couldn't wait!) and it was so fun to watch them actually starting to 'play' with them. Ok, they were mostly licking them and chewing on them, but it's a start. :)
http://s630.photobucket.com/albums/uu29/allyfinland/The%20Girls/?action=view¤t=MVI_1680.mp4
The girls also got a new playmat. We spend LOTS of time at home, so I don't mind splurging on a little entertainment for us. (**Internet shopping should be illegal for those of us trapped at home....seriously. Clicking 'buy' is way too easy.**) I like in this video when Sofia and Olivia start 'dancing' at the same time. Really cute!
http://s630.photobucket.com/albums/uu29/allyfinland/The%20Girls/?action=view¤t=MVI_1727.mp4Matias also tried the mat....maybe not a good idea. :)
http://s630.photobucket.com/albums/uu29/allyfinland/The%20Girls/?action=view¤t=MVI_1740.mp4
(if you need a password to watch the videos, it's: finland)
That's all for now!
Friday, November 12, 2010
Happy Father's Day
Happy Father's Day to the father of my children, the wonderful man I married....you are amazing and more appreciated than you'll ever know.
As a new father last year and a father of 3 this year, Tero has gotten a whole lot of kids in a really short time. He has been THE BEST man I can think of to be in this situation that we're in. He has experienced more emotions this year than many people probably experience in their whole lifetime. He has been 100% absolutely and completely dedicated to Matias and to our amazing little fighters.
Tero plays with the kids, sings to the kids, teases the kids, takes them to the doctor, takes them to the park, does all the grocery shopping, gives Matias a bath every night, and always checks on my well-being. I couldn't have asked for a better partner or a better father. It hasn't been easy every day, but Tero has put aside his own needs for the kids without a single complaint. Maybe he's wise enough to know that complaining won't help anything. :) We are full time parents...literally. When he gets home from work, it's straight to helping out with the circus....dinners, cleaning, loading the dishwasher, playing, holding, evening porridge, baths, bottles, storytime...phew! There is little time for anything else.
Tero has done everything a man can possibly do to make sure his kids have the best life possible and to know that they are loved....and I know he will continue to do that for as long as he lives. What more could I have asked for? Thanks Tero, and Happy Father's Day!!
As a new father last year and a father of 3 this year, Tero has gotten a whole lot of kids in a really short time. He has been THE BEST man I can think of to be in this situation that we're in. He has experienced more emotions this year than many people probably experience in their whole lifetime. He has been 100% absolutely and completely dedicated to Matias and to our amazing little fighters.
Tero plays with the kids, sings to the kids, teases the kids, takes them to the doctor, takes them to the park, does all the grocery shopping, gives Matias a bath every night, and always checks on my well-being. I couldn't have asked for a better partner or a better father. It hasn't been easy every day, but Tero has put aside his own needs for the kids without a single complaint. Maybe he's wise enough to know that complaining won't help anything. :) We are full time parents...literally. When he gets home from work, it's straight to helping out with the circus....dinners, cleaning, loading the dishwasher, playing, holding, evening porridge, baths, bottles, storytime...phew! There is little time for anything else.
Tero has done everything a man can possibly do to make sure his kids have the best life possible and to know that they are loved....and I know he will continue to do that for as long as he lives. What more could I have asked for? Thanks Tero, and Happy Father's Day!!
Thursday, November 11, 2010
hospital visits
I never never never never ever want to be at the hospital again. Ever. A person would think that after spending 124 days in a row at the hospital this spring/summer, that 2 or 3 days wouldn't be a big deal. I would think that too. Totally wrong. In the beginning the girls didn't really belong to us yet...they were hospital babies. As hard as it was to sit in the hospital all day and leave them in the evening, this week was on some level even harder. Now that the girls have been home and are really important members of our family, we don't want to live even a day without them. Now we know what we're missing. Our family of 4 seemed so small....too small. Matias waking up and saying 'Ovia sick, Ovia sad' one morning and then the next morning asking where is his 'other one sister' made me cry. We need our babies to stay healthy and stay with us.
Sofia had a quick emergency room visit last Thursday night with a 39.5 C fever and was diagnosed with a double ear infection and a normal cold. Olivia has been coughing for basically 2 months, sometimes worse and sometimes better, but now with all of us being sick a few weeks ago she wasn't able to handle it anymore. She was having coughing attacks and vomiting (a lot) and nobody was getting any sleep. Tero took her to the emergency room on Monday night and after the doctor heard her cough once, she was admitted as a patient. The doctor was worried it could be pertussis (whooping cough) or the beginning of pneumonia, which can be dangerous even for an otherwise healthy child. Tero was keeping me updated with text messages and I was so worried, I couldn't sleep. Tero came home at 2.00 a.m. without Olivia and we both felt so sick and so sad. Olivia is sleeping in a room all alone. What if she cries? What if she needs to be held? What if she's hungry and the nurses don't know? What if she's scared? What if the nurses give her the wrong food? What if, what if, what if. Nobody can take care of her like her own parents. She needs us and it's not ok that she's in the hospital all alone.
We took Matias to daycare on Tuesday morning, then headed with Sofia to the hospital. We spent the day in a super small room playing with our happy little girls. I held Olivia A LOT and realized even more how special she is to me. Man, I love my kids. Tero brought Matias to see his sisters in the evening and he was really happy. :) ' Ovia Ovia hospital Ovia' he kept saying. Tero then took Matias and Sofia home to get them ready for bed and I stayed with Olivia until she went to bed for the night. It was so nice to spend time alone with her and give her evening porridge and bottle. She seemed to be feeling ok and gave me lots of big smiles. Somehow I think she knew I was going to leave after I rocked her to sleep, and she was staring at me with her big blue eyes and grabbing onto my sweater. I felt SO bad. I was crying the whole time and I stood next to her bed with my coat on for half an hour before I had the heart to leave. It would have been possible to stay the night in the room, but I wouldn't have gotten any sleep with the nurses giving medicine every hour. I had no idea how long they were going to keep her there and I knew I had to get some sleep since I'd hardly slept the previous night. Plus I had Sofia and Matias to think about at home and Tero had to do some work the next day and wouldn't be able to take care of all the kids.
So off to the hospital again with Sofia yesterday. When I saw the nurse in Olivia's room, I tried to keep back the tears and I told her that we really wanted to have Olivia at home. The doctor had said a few days at least, but I knew we could take care of her. She didn't seem that sick thanks to all the medicine she was getting and we could give most of that medicine at home. She didn't have a fever and wasn't having any coughing attacks anymore....at least not so bad. The doctor agreed that she could go home on the condition that we bring her back immediately if it gets bad again. So we came home yesterday afternoon and I was so happy. So relieved.
I really don't know what we're supposed to do to keep the girls healthy. Matias is in daycare and is getting sick all the time. Just when his coughing and runny nose have stopped, there's usually only a 2-3 day break before the next round starts. If he gets sick, the girls will get sick too. We live in a small apartment and Matias wipes his germs everywhere. It's impossible to keep him away from the girls and I don't want to be telling him all the time to stay away from the babies. I don't want him to think he can't touch his own sisters. I cannot keep Matias at home with me though (even though most days I would want to), for the main reason that he needs to be with kids his own age and play and I cannot take the girls anywhere where there are kids. It's a no-win situation really. Either I have a sad toddler sitting around at home with me getting no social interaction (and probably then getting into lots of trouble!) or I have to risk the girls getting sick. What are we supposed to do?
Sofia had a quick emergency room visit last Thursday night with a 39.5 C fever and was diagnosed with a double ear infection and a normal cold. Olivia has been coughing for basically 2 months, sometimes worse and sometimes better, but now with all of us being sick a few weeks ago she wasn't able to handle it anymore. She was having coughing attacks and vomiting (a lot) and nobody was getting any sleep. Tero took her to the emergency room on Monday night and after the doctor heard her cough once, she was admitted as a patient. The doctor was worried it could be pertussis (whooping cough) or the beginning of pneumonia, which can be dangerous even for an otherwise healthy child. Tero was keeping me updated with text messages and I was so worried, I couldn't sleep. Tero came home at 2.00 a.m. without Olivia and we both felt so sick and so sad. Olivia is sleeping in a room all alone. What if she cries? What if she needs to be held? What if she's hungry and the nurses don't know? What if she's scared? What if the nurses give her the wrong food? What if, what if, what if. Nobody can take care of her like her own parents. She needs us and it's not ok that she's in the hospital all alone.
We took Matias to daycare on Tuesday morning, then headed with Sofia to the hospital. We spent the day in a super small room playing with our happy little girls. I held Olivia A LOT and realized even more how special she is to me. Man, I love my kids. Tero brought Matias to see his sisters in the evening and he was really happy. :) ' Ovia Ovia hospital Ovia' he kept saying. Tero then took Matias and Sofia home to get them ready for bed and I stayed with Olivia until she went to bed for the night. It was so nice to spend time alone with her and give her evening porridge and bottle. She seemed to be feeling ok and gave me lots of big smiles. Somehow I think she knew I was going to leave after I rocked her to sleep, and she was staring at me with her big blue eyes and grabbing onto my sweater. I felt SO bad. I was crying the whole time and I stood next to her bed with my coat on for half an hour before I had the heart to leave. It would have been possible to stay the night in the room, but I wouldn't have gotten any sleep with the nurses giving medicine every hour. I had no idea how long they were going to keep her there and I knew I had to get some sleep since I'd hardly slept the previous night. Plus I had Sofia and Matias to think about at home and Tero had to do some work the next day and wouldn't be able to take care of all the kids.
So off to the hospital again with Sofia yesterday. When I saw the nurse in Olivia's room, I tried to keep back the tears and I told her that we really wanted to have Olivia at home. The doctor had said a few days at least, but I knew we could take care of her. She didn't seem that sick thanks to all the medicine she was getting and we could give most of that medicine at home. She didn't have a fever and wasn't having any coughing attacks anymore....at least not so bad. The doctor agreed that she could go home on the condition that we bring her back immediately if it gets bad again. So we came home yesterday afternoon and I was so happy. So relieved.
I really don't know what we're supposed to do to keep the girls healthy. Matias is in daycare and is getting sick all the time. Just when his coughing and runny nose have stopped, there's usually only a 2-3 day break before the next round starts. If he gets sick, the girls will get sick too. We live in a small apartment and Matias wipes his germs everywhere. It's impossible to keep him away from the girls and I don't want to be telling him all the time to stay away from the babies. I don't want him to think he can't touch his own sisters. I cannot keep Matias at home with me though (even though most days I would want to), for the main reason that he needs to be with kids his own age and play and I cannot take the girls anywhere where there are kids. It's a no-win situation really. Either I have a sad toddler sitting around at home with me getting no social interaction (and probably then getting into lots of trouble!) or I have to risk the girls getting sick. What are we supposed to do?
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