My Dear Matias

Matias Onni Miikki, 5 days old


In a few days Matias will be 18 months old and on Saturday will become a big brother when Sofia comes home, so this blog post is for him. Our big baby has become a big boy and man, has the time gone quickly. In spite of some very minor difficulties along the way which have usually passed in a matter of days, Matias has been the most wonderful boy I could've ever imagined. I waited 32 years to have a baby, and he has honestly been my dream come true. When I heard him cry for the first time, I cried buckets. It was the moment that I actually realized that there was indeed a baby in my stomach (funny that my stomach was ginormous and I still didn't believe there was really a baby in there :)) and that I was finally a mom. The love I felt when I first saw his scrunched up face and little nose was indescribable. I will never forget that moment. I was so happy and so excited for the future.

I didn't know it was possible to love somebody so much. Matias makes me smile 100 times a day, at least. And when I'm away, just thinking about him makes me smile. I don't know how I would've survived these last 3 months without him. When I go to pick him up from daycare, I almost have to run because I am so excited to see him. Every night when he goes to bed, Tero and I smile and tell each other how nice he is or how cute it was when he did this or that. It never gets old.

When I look back at Matias's baby pictures, part of me feels sad that he's not a baby anymore. But the other part of me thinks that each day is more fun than the last. Seeing Matias learn new things, actually 'playing' with toys, talking up a storm, flirting with the cashiers at the store, laughing at his own tricks....he just makes us laugh. He is a nice boy, a good boy, a calm boy, a happy boy. When I ask him, 'who loves Matias' he answers, 'mama'...and it melts my heart every time. With the hugs, kisses, squeezes, and cuddles he gets every day, he definitely knows he is loved. And that makes me happy. :)

I have felt really bad for him these past months with so many changes in his life and for having a very stressed out mommy, but he has probably handled it better than I have. There are a lot more changes coming for all of us, but I hope that we can all keep holding hands and get through this together. I hope he will not feel ignored and left out when his sisters come home and I hope that he will always know just how very important and special he is to me....and always will be.

A few pictures from the cottage last weekend...our last weekend as 'the 3 of us'

On the way there, Matias's first time at McDonald's


Ready for a boat ride


Captain Matias


Mosquito nets are fun!


Not so sure about having dirty hands


Testing the water


Finnish summer


Mud


Time to go home (with a few mosquito bites as souvenirs)