Where is Matias?

Ok, it seems that my sweet little boy has disappeared and been replaced with a cranky, whiny, indecisive boy who likes to throw tantrums. This week has been AWFUL! Today, thank goodness, I got a tiny glimpse of Matias's former angelic, happy self and it was so nice. So there is hope that he will come back and this boy who spends most of his time in 'time out' will disappear. Man, I hope so.

So, here are a few conversations we've had this week:
Matias: Shirt off!
Me: Matias, you really don't need to take your shirt off right now.
Matias: SHIRT OFF!
Me: Matias, why do you want to take your shirt off?
Matias: Shirt off!
Me: Ok, we can take your shirt off but if you get cold we need to put it back on. (take his shirt off)
Matias: Nooooooo!!! Shirt ON!!!! Waaaaahhhhhhh!!!! Shirt on!!!!!

And another one:
Matias: Mommy, istuu (sit) chair.
Me: Matias, it's not time to eat now...why do you want to sit in your chair?
Matias: Sit!!
Me: Matias, I'm not going to give you any food but if you really want to sit in your chair then you can sit there. (put him in his high chair)
Matias: Down!!! Down!!! Waaaahhhhhh!!!!! Down!!!!

I think you see where this is going. This happens 50 times a day. And EVERYTHING has to be a fight. Putting clothes on: he sits when you want him to stand and stands when you want him to sit. Putting outdoor clothes on: he lays on the floor like a wet noodle. Walking outside: he lays down on the sidewalk and refuses to move. Dinnertime: he says he's done and then cries when you take away the food.

He has been in time out a lot this week, and although he sits there like an angel and says sorry afterwards, the behavior doesn't always stop. He has been hitting the girls on the head, hitting my back when I'm feeding the girls, hitting the tv, throwing his food on the floor, and basically doing the opposite of everything we ask him to do. And sometimes he's so MAD! I saw him pooping the other day and asked him if he had kakka in his diaper and he shouted angrily back at me, 'EI OO!!' (there's not).

It has been tiring to say the least (especially since he's been waking up before 6 every day again)and I think we're going to need some new strategies soon to deal with this behavior if it continues. Of course as a teacher I have dealt with behavioral issues, but a) it's different when it's your own kids, b) it's different when they're this young, and c) it's difficult when there are 3 babies crying at the same time (and all almost totally dependent on you for their every need) to immediately provide the consequence for the misbehavior.

One problem is that Matias is smart. Maybe too smart. He totally knows what he's doing and has that mischievous twinkle in his eye when he's going to do something that's not allowed. And of course most of this misbehavior occurs when I'm alone with all 3 kids and am not giving him all the attention he might want. He knows. The funny thing is that he also 'punishes' me when he's mad. If he's trying to climb in my lap when I'm feeding the girls, I give him a quick hug and tell him that he can sit in my lap when I'm done feeding the babies. Then when the girls are sleeping and I do have time to play with him, he totally ignores me and wants to play by himself. Aaahhhh.....sometimes it feels like I can't win. I told my friend the other day that it feels horrible when Matias goes to bed and the only thing I feel like I said to him the whole evening was:
Don't do that, Matias!
Ack! What are you doing, Matias?
No, Matias!
Be nice, Matias!
Matias, we don't hit.
Matias, put it back!
I'm going to count to 3, then you'll go to time out if you don't stop.
Time out, Matias!
Matias Miikki, stop that right now!
Say sorry, Matias.

I'm sure if I was totally well-rested and didn't have any other babies demanding my attention, I might have a tiny bit more patience and energy to deal with this. In any case though, I have to say that I do love him to pieces....and sometimes I do even laugh when he's in time out (not where he can see me of course) because he looks so freaking cute just sitting there, twiddling his thumbs and looking really sorry. How is it that you can be so annoyed with your own kids and so in love with them at the same time? One minute I feel like selling him to the highest bidder and the next minute I'm squeezing him so hard because he's done something adorable.....oh, like when he kissed me on the lips the other day, walked away for a few steps, then ran back to me and said 'more, more' and gave me a huge hug and kiss. Aaahhhh, parenthood....and this is just the beginning. :)))