On a brighter note

I was wondering all day today if my last entry came across as really negative or whiney. Not my intention at all! (If you know me, you know I'm not a negative person :)). It also wasn't aimed at anyone in particular....I was just letting out my feelings about all hundreds of questions and comments I've heard these last ten months. Sometimes when you have too much time to think about stuff, it's not a good thing. I guess my purpose was just to inform people about what we've been through and to remind what a delicate issue this is. I know that I may be overly-sensitive to certain comments as well, just because this has been so hard on all of us. A lot of people do understand this and have been extremely supportive, but there are still so many people who don't seem to get it....that's why I felt the urge to write that last entry. I just want people to understand once and for all that the girls were supposed to be born at the end of July, so they are actually the same age as other babies born in July. If you count life starting from the time of conception, which I do, then they are the same age as any baby whose due date was also July 20th. When the girls were 6 months old, they were 'actually' 2 months old, so people asking me if they're crawling yet and getting teeth really showed me what a lack of understanding people have on this topic. And I still get these kind of comments. Imagine someone asking you if your 2-month-old baby is crawling yet! If someone asks me on the girls' first birthday if they are walking yet, I will not be surprised. The girls are actually going to be developmentally only 8 months old on their first birthday, so they will not even be close to walking (although Matias was only 9 months when he started walking, but I think 11 pound babies might also have timelines of their own :)). With good luck, maybe the girls will be sitting by their first birthday. Maybe. And you can be sure I will be shouting to the world via Facebook and this blog when the girls take their first steps. I don't care if it's when they're one year old or two years old....if they walk at all, it is a reason to celebrate.



I should've also mentioned that many people HAVE been extremely supportive and sensitive....and I want to say thank you to all of you (you know who you are!). I think in a crisis situation, it is amazing how some people who you hardly know (or don't know at all) just come out of the woodwork and support you in a huge way. There are probably at least 200 people who I don't even know who prayed for us when we needed it the most. There were people who volunteered to bring us dinner not once, not twice, but even up to FOUR times....people who I've met only a few times ever. I have gotten e-mails from strangers telling me how strong I am and how much our story has touched their lives. And I've built stronger relationships and had a lot of support from people who I wasn't in so much contact with before (thank you especially to my wonderful Aunt Laurie who has supported in a BIG way....even more than she herself knows. :)).



I'm thankful that this situation has taught me to appreciate life....little things every day mean so much. All the hugs, all the kisses, all the songs, all the cute little words. (And the 'other' little things in life like paper cuts, missing the bus, and burning dinner don't seem like such a big deal). Somehow I feel every emotion so much stronger now. I really know what it means to love and be loved, to be happy, to be devastated. I honestly cannot watch even one tv show (or commercial for that matter) without crying. If someone is getting married, experiences the death of a friend, has an accident, wins a contest, or even just gets tears in their eyes....oh man, I can't stop the tears. Even reading a poem or listening to a song or looking at pictures makes me feel so much. I'm not sure if this is only a temporary thing, but I'm hoping to at least get the tears a bit under control before I can start going out in public again. :)

Some other good things to report:


Tero will soon be taking his 'father's month' and will be at home for 3 weeks in a row. We will get to have a lot of family time, and I'm sure I will also have quite a few chances to go shopping, go to the movies, meet up with friends, etc. I am so looking forward to having a bit of free time away from the apartment...and just having Tero at home will be so nice. I will have adult company!


I had a consultation with a surgeon yesterday for my stomach issue, and she definitely recommended having surgery. It will be scheduled for sometime in the next few months. Basically I have a 5 cm hole in my abdominal wall and my intestines are hanging out. Sorry, I know it sounds gross...and it is gross. (You should've seen the look of horror on my friend Amy's face when she saw it....makes me laugh!! Sorry, Amy! :)) Just glad that it's not dangerous and glad that it can be fixed. I KNEW this bulging stomach was not my fault....I KNEW it. Bring on the cookies!!


Ok, this is getting long again and I should be doing a million other things. I'll try to include some pictures of the growing kids next time. Thanks again for listening to me share my feelings....it feels good to share. :)