Olivia's hearing

We got a bit of bad news yesterday. It wasn't horrible news, but I was unpleasantly reminded that we are still on the rollercoaster of life with preemie babies. The girls have been doing so well for so long, that somedays I have forgotten our journey is not over yet....and there are unfortunately still going to be some downs along the way. There is so much we still don't know. There are a hundred developmental risks that come with being born so early, not to mention the side effects of the enormous volumes of medicines they received during their first few months of life.

It seems that Olivia's ears are actually not ok. The first time her ears were tested, the test results showed that she couldn't hear at all. The doctors didn't think the tests were working properly, because she can obviously hear something. She dances when she hears music, she turns when I call her name, she cries when I turn the blender on. She was tested again 2 other times, and every time it seemed that the tests weren't working properly. Yesterday she was tested for the 4th time and the results still showed that she can't hear. After a thorough examination, the doctor informed us that there is indeed a problem. He was sure that Olivia can hear at least something out of her right ear, but he didn't think she could hear out of her left. (He did however assure us that even if she can only hear out of one ear, she should still be able to learn how to talk.) Olivia has an appointment now for a mini 'surgery' and she will have to be anesthetized and stay overnight in the hospital. The doctors will put tubes in during the procedure if they think that will help (one problem is that there isn't enough space inside her ears) but they will also investigate other possible problems.

To me, this news is really sad just because, like most people, I just want my children to be healthy and happy. I want them to have the same opportunities in life that everyone has. I don't want life to be difficult for them. And my poor little Olivia has had so much rough luck since the beginning. Sofia whizzed through the NICU with flying colors....no infections (besides the one she was born with), no surgeries, and no major problems or setbacks. Olivia was a different story completely. She had heart surgery already at 3 days old. She had at least 20 different infections in the NICU. She has scars all over her body from the various procedures that were done. She has BPD lung disease and tracheal malasia (which is getting better). She had a 3 day stay in the hospital last fall because of a horrible cough. She has low muscle tone which makes movement more difficult for her. And now possible hearing problems. All that she has been through in one year...it just breaks my heart.

Olivia is such a sweetheart. In spite of so many difficulties, she is so calm and so happy. She rarely complains about anything. And her smile...I think I've mentioned before that there is something so special about Olivia's smile. It's what a smile is supposed to be....just pure happiness. She is amazing and she is my inspiration. I know that even if she has a hearing problem (which most likely the doctors will be able to help with/correct a great deal), she is probably not going to complain about it. I just hope that she has the Finnish 'sisu' (a special kind of toughness) that will help her keep smiling in spite of any obstacles she has. I hope that she will be able to do everything that she wants to do in her life and not be limited in any way.

Olivia's procedure is scheduled for July 27th and I will stay overnight with her in the hospital. Hoping that everything goes smoothly and we can continue happily on....