Our new life

Ok, so being the mom in a family with 3 very small children doesn't allow much time for blog updates. I guess most people aren't wondering what's keeping me so busy. This is one time in my life that I maybe don't need any excuses for anything. :)

Besides the basics- sleep deprivation, bottles, diapers ,flying poop, vomit-stained shirts, crying, and extreme chaotic messiness- I guess there are a lot of details missing. This update may take me a few days to finish, so don't mind if it's a bit disjointed.

The quick positives:

• The girls both started smiling a few weeks ago
• They're both eating and growing well
• They aren't on any medicines (only vitamins and iron)
• The doctors are positive and hopeful for the future
• Matias has learned about patience and being careful
• I have a huge list of 'things I can do with one hand'
• Starting next week someone will come to help out 2 mornings a week and one night
• This will get easier eventually (better is basically the only direction to go at this point :))

The quick negatives:

• We still only get about 4 hours of sleep per night and naps are impossible
• Olivia may have colic- some days every waking moment is spent crying
• Sofia has some reflux/stomach problems- spits up and squirms often in pain
• The girls like to sleep at opposite times
• I'm starting to feel the cabin fever set in after only a few days alone at home (I'm not supposed to take the girls into any public places)
  

A brief overview of a 'normal day' in our house:

• 6.00 Matias wakes up, breakfast, brush teeth, get dressed, read/play
• 7.30 Girls wake up, change diapers, give bottles, playtime/tummytime
• 8.15 Tero takes Matias to daycare, then off to work
• 9.00 Get girls dressed and settled down for morning nap
• 9.30 Sofia asleep, Olivia crying
• 10.00 Sofia asleep, Olivia still crying
• 10.30 Sofia asleep, Olivia still crying
• 10.45 Olivia finally falls asleep and Sofia wakes up
• 11.00 debate whether to wake Olivia up for food since Sofia wants to eat
• 11.15 Start feeding Sofia baby food and bottle, Olivia wakes up to join
• 11.45 Olivia sound asleep after bottle, Sofia wants to play
• 12.30 Sofia falls asleep, Olivia wakes up crying
• 13.00 Olivia back to sleep and on a lucky day Sofia still sleeping
• 13.30 Sofia wakes up crying with a stomach ache and vomits all over her clothes and the bed
• 14.00 both girls wake for bottle
• 14.30 playtime/tummytime
• 15.00 get the girls ready for stroller ride
• 15.15 start walking to pick up Matias
• 15.30 arrive at the daycare
• 15.45 halfway home and Matias decides he doesn't want to hold on to the stroller, debating what to do with 2 screaming babies and a toddler who is sitting on the sidewalk and won't move
• 16.00 home at last
• 16.15 Baby Einstein dvd for Matias so I can comfort crying babies or heat up something for dinner
• 17.00 dinner for Matias, Tero arrives home!
• 17.30 babyfood and bottles for the girls
• 18.00 take Matias to the park with whole family or Tero stays at home with the girls
• 19.00 evening porridge for Matias, teeth brushed, bath, pajamas, story
• 19.30 Matias in bed
• 19.45 girls have a bath
• 20.00 evening bottles
• 20.30-21.30 comfort, rock, swaddle, put pacifiers continuously until girls fall asleep
• 1.00-2.00 night bottles
• 4.30-5.30 night bottles
• 6.00 Matias wakes up...and the cycle starts again

During all the free time available on the schedule (as you can see, there's quite a lot :)), I try to take a shower, do laundry, wash and prepare bottles, cook something, tidy up the house, take a nap, make a few phone calls to reschedule doctor appointments, write an e-mail, etc. Usually I get one or two of these 'extra' things done during the day. But that's ok. :)

We are lucky: Most days I feel extremely guilty to complain about being tired, to complain about being trapped at home, to complain about not having even two minutes a day to myself, to complain that this is hard. The girls have gone through so much and it is such a blessing that they're even alive. Not being able to sleep and being busy is NOTHING compared to what their little bodies have suffered. Sometimes it's hard to remember in the depths of sleep deprivation how lucky we are, but we truly are lucky. Every time I see Matias's face smiling at me in the morning...every time I feel his arms around me giving me a big hug...every time he points to me and proudly says 'mommy'...every time he gives me a kiss on the lips...every time the girls smile at me or at each other...every time Matias gives the girls a kiss so gently....then I remember how much we have to be thankful for. I know that this difficult time in our lives won't last forever. When we start getting sleep, I think we can manage anything.

This daddy is so proud of his girls...

How can you not love those faces?

Lunchtime!

And the sleep will come: Last weekend Tero and I had the great fortune to go out to eat, attend the U2 concert and sleep in until 10 a.m. The girls had quit taking caffeine the previous week and usually ten days later they are supposed to be at the hospital overnight for observation. It just happened to fall on that Friday night. I was thinking I wouldn't be able to go to the concert, but this was great luck...especially since I was the one who stood in line for 2 hours with Matias and while I was pregnant to get the tickets. :) Matias went to a friend's house to stay the night, so we were competely without kids. I cannot even explain how much energy I had after sleeping 9 straight hours. Of course I still felt a bit tired (you can't recover from 5 weeks in 1 day :)), but didn't have the headache/nausea/fatigue that I usually have every day. It was great.

Waiting for the concert to begin

One of the biggest crowds ever

Another good stroke of luck hit us again. An acquaintance of mine is a nurse at the hospital where the girls were. She actually just finished working last weekend and has a lot of spare time now, so was wondering if we needed help with the girls. She has agreed (for a small fee) to come one nighta week to take care of the girls so Tero and I can sleep 8 straight hours. AND THEN, being that we live in such a wonderful country, the city has arranged for someone to come 2 mornings a week to help with the girls. I can use this time to sleep, do laundry, go to the store, etc. For these first weeks I know what I'll be doing. :)

Healthwise: The doctors have examined the girls thoroughly and seem to think that everything is fine. The neurologist also thought everything was fine. The eye doctor thought everything was fine. The MRI brain scans showed that everything is fine (besides some small scarring from the brain bleeds). The doctor told us that from now on we just treat them like normal, healthy babies. We have various hospital visits all fall...physiotherapy, eye doctor, hearing tests, developmental check-ups, etc....that will keep us quite busy. Besides those, I will just be at home with the girls watching them grow and taking lots of pictures. They are growing really quickly and I can hardly believe that these are the tiny babies I saw in the incubators so many months ago.

Olivia's due date footprints and 'newborn' footprints

Growing babies need to sleep!

So to sum up: All in all, I think everything is going pretty well...we are just busy and tired. It will get better, and I think (or hope anyways) that in a few months it will actually be easier to have 2 babies at home because they will play with each other and not demand so much of mommy's attention. For now it just seems like an awful lot of work and not too much in the 'fun' department. And then I look at Matias and realize that if I will have 3 of those....3 kids who call me mommy, who hug me and smile at me, who run at me with open arms when I've been away, who copy everything I say and do, who amaze me with their cleverness, whose chubby cheeks and legs full of rolls are just so stinking cute....my heart will be so full of love that I'm sure it will burst. I am so happy, just most days now too tired to realize it. :)) One day at a time....one day at a time.